Take it to the limit

 3 am, the wind is soughing, the moon just past full, this is a p.s. on top of an entry from a week before: 

how does this blogging work?  It's private stuff, made available if someone wanted to see it.  Like writing a book, or a short story.  It's therapeutic, for me, the writer.  I won't really know if someone else finds it so, or even reads it, unless they take the trouble to tell me.  That's the chance writers take.  In this case, I don't really care if anyone else reads this particular entry.  I'm just being lazy and not writing it into a private journal but wanting it included in with The Blog...so I can find it again.


I miss him.  I used to pour my heart out to him every day.  Now, I really need to just write, I guess, just to see what's in there.  A lesson in trust that somehow my heart outpourings still matter.  Still happen.  He inspired. 

Job/money stuff is up and there's only so much brain energy I can give it each day.  The trouble is, I have to make some decisions.  I know what I want to do:  work less, play more.  But is it possible to buy affordable health insurance, earn enough to live and have enough money to be able to play, and have time to do it?  I'd like to think so.  But I'm not sure yet.  I don't want to just leap out there without a little more practical knowledge. Tune in next month.  Oh, and play needs to be defined a little better.  For now it means, more theatre, involvement with my friends, both adult and kids, gardening, learning about gardening, reading and writing and yes, traveling, and well, anything lovely that happens to come up that I'd like to explore more.

This is when a supporting spouse would be nice.  Lacking that though, I'll have to sally forth on my own.

I'm going to Hawaii soon.  I have a friend there, an older single man who might have some insight on how to do this older living on your own stuff.  We shall see. 

Sweet dreams to anyone listening...me, at least.